A few days ago I saw a meme on social media saying “the only way to heal a broken heart is by going back to what broke you.” I sat and thought long and hard about it. And I can understand why whoever created that did so.
See, the only person that can hurt you, is someone that has some amount of influence over your life, someone you love. When you’re hurting, your heart, mind and soul hungers for that person still. You’re angry with them but a huge part of you want so badly to reconnect with that person, because if only they would come to you, even if it’s a lie, the pain will go away. Even if it’s just for a little moment, you are getting your fix, because even if it’s just a quick fix, at least you won’t hurt in that moment. A quick fix doesn’t heal a broken heart. It patches it up and as soon as the tape wears out, you fall apart again.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to deal with your pain whether it’s death of a loved one, betrayal of a friend, or a relationship gone wrong. They say, “hurting people hurt people.” The pain and heartache you suppress or avoid will resurface and the longer it takes to be dealt with, the more harm it does to your health. This unhealed heart (mind) causes you to push people out of your life because you’re thinking they’ll do exactly what the person that hurt you did. You can’t give anyone a chance because of fear. And let’s say you try to keep them around, you cannot love them wholly because you are not whole. You cannot give them the love they deserve, not because you don’t want to, but because you don’t know how to; you cannot give what you don’t know how to receive.
Stop allowing society to dictate to you how to deal with what you’re going through. When you cry you’re told that you’re too emotional so you become afraid of your own tears. You won’t let yourself feel what it needs to feel in the moment out of fear of people telling you or thinking that you’re being needy or weak. You’re afraid to ask for help because you think you’ve done this too many times. You think it’s time now for you to stand on your own two feet. But you need help getting there because you never dealt with it in the first place. All you did was look for quick fixes; when one thing had served its purpose, you moved on to the next quick thing. Stop going from one relationship to the next with all your baggage expecting the person to heal you; you’ll only end up with extra baggage for the next and leave a trail of broken heart lying around.
What you need is to be completely healed… Go back to the root of all your pain, go digging everything up from the root, and deal with it like a boss. Stop allowing your circumstances to control your life. Don’t you ever get tired of it all? Constantly living in circles with no sense of direction because you’ve lost your true identity in the process? Your soul is just so weary and wants to get better. Yes, I know it’s hard, I know you feel like you don’t even know where to start or who to turn to. How about searching your life and finding that one person who has been trying all this time to help you; the one you have been pushing away who has decided to stand firm even though you gave them every reason to leave. Better yet, how about turning to Jesus…
Oh I promise you, He’s guaranteed! He’s sure! And He is the only one capable of healing from the root! He’s not a quick fix; He’s a permanent fix!
A friend of mine once said, “you have the power to decide how long what hurt you, haunts you.” YES, you really do! Apologize to yourself for all the years you’ve been asleep, for all the lies you fed your soul when you were hungry for anything that tasted like truth but were all lies. Look in the mirror every day with a sense of purpose. Keep a journal and record your progress. Write down all the things you need to get rid of and burn it, literally and figuratively. Find a hobby; be better at the things you’re already good at. Do what works for you. Be good to yourself and stop expecting people to do it for you. Because you possess so much more and you deserve to give yourself all the love you keep trying to find and give away. Love you wholly, and hard. Ask the Lord to teach you how and patiently wait in the process; He’s the best teacher. Allow yourself to feel, don’t be afraid or ashamed of the way you were created. And please, stop comparing your life to everyone else that seems to have it all together. Allow what you feel to come and serve its purpose, then move on. Stop letting social media decide how you should live your life. Live and love purely, and wholly.
Tahira loves you with the love of God! Be blessed!